It's always been a struggle for me to understand how someone could love me UN-CON-DITIONALLY...No matter what stupid stuff I do, how much I hurt them, how twisted my ways become. Even though God loves me no matter what, I struggle to comprehend it because I, myself, am not capable of loving someone that way. It's beyond my little human brain's understanding.
A good friend pointed out to me yesterday that I've been gauging my value on the success of my behavior: how well-disciplined I am with this, how skilled I am at that, how I lose points every time I fall here and there and back over here again. How pure my heart is, how deeply I pray, how much I dwell in the Word, how well my behavior reflects prayers being answered...That last one is interesting, because it's as if my prayers being answered is a reflection of my own doing...As If I answer my own prayers!!
(!)
Nuts.
I am so very human. I need God so very much. He loves me no less when I'm at my worst, my most sluggish, my most shameful, my most faithless, my most doubtful, my most resentful. When I want nothing to do with God, He loves me more than anyone could love anyone, always and forevermore, as I am His; He has called me by name.
He will finish what He has started.
Amen.
looking forward to more, my friend...
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